Tie Your Tubes: River Float

Courtesy: Freepix.com

I was invited by friends last week to do some tubing—or the river float.

I am not quite sure what to expect, but this is what I was taught by some pros who have been doing it for a decade or so. Enjoy.

Always bring plenty of beer or if your friends are borderline alcoholic like mine, you can take some tequila and put it in a camel pack on the river.

One can be three sheets to the wind and the cops aren’t going to give you a second look. However, if they see a glass bottle it’ a guarantee you’ll be pulled out of that river faster than a case of White Claw at a bachelorette party.



Description: Brings the rope and ties tubes together in a way that makes the most sense.

Whatever you do, do not separate from your group. Remember, your friends are navigating in a beverage state of mind and floating down a river with no steering.


Description: Job is to chunk drinks as requested into your tube.


Description: Brought a waterproof speaker and a waterproof phone case.

If the phone’s not wet, overheated or dead, the likelihood of having a signal is very minimal.

The Tug

Description: Usually this person is never the most sober of the group.

Whenever there’s an obstacle like rocks, rapids, or a bridge and the Tug will jump or rather flop into action in order to pull the group to safety.

The Mom

Description: Most likely, a self appointed person that remembers to pack water, snacks and tells everyone when they need to reapply sunscreen.


1. Sunscreen.

If you’re like me and not wearing sunscreen, I can promise it will be a one way ticket to becoming a menu item at Red Lobster. Fact.

2. Water

Yeah, I know you’re floating in it, but think about this: No one’s taking a bathroom break, and I am quite certain that flowing path your traveling on is about 10% urine.

3. Apparel

Seriously. There is no reason to be a fashion model on the river float. Those expensive Oakley or Ray-Bans will look just as good on the riverbed as they do on you.

4. Footwear

It’s not recommend floating barefoot. Your idea that your flip-flops will stay on your feet is probably going to be a little bit different after a few drinks and some fast flowing water.

So, I guess it’s time to break out the $7 gas station sunglasses and the river floating approved shoes or sandals and go float that river.

Remember you are floating in a river so there is no physical activity required. Sit back, relax and enjoy your float.